A natural desire in the past lead mostly to disaster. Put in the wrong role I was made into a master. Controlling people is not my thing. Ask my ex’s and they’ll continue projecting. I did it too, no help in the blaming. My mommy issues also stem from shaming.
Watching them leave or push me away has been my own repetitive hell to pay. Sitting in the silence the absence leaves behind is deafening, inescapable and mind-blowingly loud. The initial response is to find solace in the crowd. Most run away into another’s arms. Much of the time it leads to more self harm.
Some run to people, some liquor, some smoke. I’ve learned no matter which you still end up broken. After so many times ending up just me and me we begin to see in the mirror more than the royal three. Look within with curious wonder and you will find another world full of vibrance and color. There you will find your truth and light and love to share with another.
Alone isn’t lonely though when you have yourself for company. It’s only when we look to others to fill our sense of security that we lose control of our natural right to be make up our own camaraderie. Overflowing with what we once sought from the external, our mate flows in on the wave made by our our robust persona. Bringing abundance in what we were seeking we find opulence resulting in our now mating.